Ponderings
7. Acceptance
“This tactic has been successful many times, but recently it’s driven a wedge between me and my family.”
Acceptance

I’ll be 100% up-front with you…
I struggle with acceptance like a mofo!

Seriously…
Why can’t I control everything and everyone in my life!?
I swear I know what’s best for them.

I’ve backed off some, but I still have a lot of work to do.
I’m amazed by people who have the ability to let others be wrong.
It feels like a personal injustice to me.
Conceptually understanding it vs. putting it into practice are very different.

In a perfect world…

  • I’d accept people without judgment
  • Curb my knee jerk reactions
  • Not overreact emotionally
  • Let things roll off my shoulder
  • And, not argue for the sake of being right

Mastering the above skills would be my superpower.
Personally and professionally. 

A stranger, acquaintance, friend, or extended family member can tell me the most fucked up shit, and I won’t judge them in the slightest.
Chances are…I’ve either thought about it or done it myself.

Unfortunately, my partner, family, & best friends are kryptonite to my superpower.
And, I can’t figure out why.
I just care about them and their well-being too much.
I want them to reach their full potential.

Growing up, my parents pushed me really hard.
So, in turn, I push people.
Ruthlessly, sometimes.

This tactic has been successful many times, but recently…
It’s driven a wedge between me and my family.

Why can’t I just accept them for who they are?

I refuse to sit back and accept their unhappiness, negativity, unhealthy relationships, and coping with food and alcohol.
It breaks my heart.
Especially when I used to admire, idolize, and respect them.

For the time being, I’ve decided to remove myself from the situation.
I’m hoping time, journaling, and soul searching will lead me to the answers I’m desperately seeking. 

I won’t lie, it feels hopeless at times.
I don’t know what to do.
And, I’m at a total loss. 

I don’t want “fake” acceptance either.
I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work.
I was choking on blood from biting my tongue so hard and frequently. 

True and authentic acceptance is what I long for.
But, I’m not sure if genuine and authentic acceptance can be reached.
I guess that’s another part of acceptance…
Accepting an undesired outcome.

Am I the only one that feels this way?
Do you have Acceptance mastered?
If so, please share your tips and tricks.
Drop a comment below.

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